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I would say don't question the nature of her relationship with her parents. There is no right or wrong way to relate to family unless it's blatantly destructive. Just address the issue of her bailing on your plans all the time. I'm curious too what culture she is from. Only certain cultures value a rampant independent streak, as some of the responses here reveal. Just have a talk with her and discuss your concerns without making demands or attacking her or her family.
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