maleficent

Until you've been in the situation, you cannot say what you would do... It's really easy to say that no one woudl ever do that to you -- but reality is a different story.

I got hit once, and walked away, it took more to convince my best friend and his brother that he wasn't worth the trouble they'd end up in for beating the snot out of him, then it was to walk away from the relationship..

Emotional abuse is much more difficult, and much more subtle

It starts differently and it's not quite obvious. It's the little things that are used, the bills you haven't paid yet that you are reminded of, (you're really bad with money aren't you, you're really irresponsible aren't you, I'd never do that -- are these statements true? ) Cancelling plans because I had to work late (you let your job walk all over you, I'd tell my boss that I couldn't) then it increases to are you sure you want to wear that? WHAT did you do to your hair? A lot of little things, that you don't notice at the time, and slowly your self esteem gets eroded -- and you honestly believe that you don't do anything right and you will never be good enough...

Self esteem comes from inside, it absolutely doesn't come from outside sources, however, when outside sources do their best to erode that self esteem, it makes it much more difficult to find the value in yourself. Do you talk to your friends about this? Perhaps, but maybe you're worried that your friends will either agree with him or chide you that why don't you just tell him to screw off.

I always said that I was too strong, too tough, too much of a hardass to ever tolerate any kind of abuse... But in hindsight, after a two year relationship, more than 2 years ago, emotional abuse was exactly what I went thru, and I know what I still am going thru, even though the relationship has ended.

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