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Originally Posted by Shizukana
Thanks for all your advice.
We talked this morning, and now it's turned around on me, because a long time ago I admitted that I occasionally think about others while masturbating - and that was brought back up. She says she feels very strongly about it, and that in her mind, it's cheating on her, and it makes the relationship a lie to do something like that.
Thoughts?
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Forgive me, but you are both very silly people.
Justified or not, most women regard faking an orgasm as a little white lie akin to "no those pants don't make you look fat." You are taking this far too seriously. It doesn't necessarily mean she's lying to you in other areas of the relationship.
Fantasizing about other people when you're masturbating is completely normal, and if she feels threatened and like it's cheating, she's silly. You can't control what you feel, only what you do about it. If she expects you to suddenly cease finding all other human beings attractive because you're in a relationship, she is being completely unrealistic.
It sounds like the two of you don't entirely trust each other, and that that might be the foundation for these suspicions and hurt feelings, and not the other way round. It sounds like you're both just looking for reasons not to trust each other. That, IMHO, is the problem, not faked orgasms or fantasy lovers.