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Life is too short to deal with this drama. I have been married for more than seven years and have probably only argued with my wife three or four times. I attribute this to the fact that we are both mentally stable, have complimentary personalities, and respect each other. I do not understand why anyone would want to invest so much energy to fix a tumultuous relationship when they aren't married, don't have kids, have been dating a limited amount of time, and have been fighting consistently throughout that time (i.e., it wasn't one big fight over an isolated incident). There are too many other people out there to put up with this. I know you love her, but trust me: you will eventually find someone - small town or not - that will be much easier to love and be around. Sounds like you are trying to fit a round peg into a square whole with this one. Good luck.
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