Originally Posted by cmc

I was going to a shrink - to get help w/ my young kids, and I asked Him
what the chances were of me going through this again, and he scratched his beard,
puffed on his pipe and said, and I quote: 'I'd say - if you don't look deep w/in yourself and discover why YOU CHOOSE THIS relationship, that your chances of doing this again are about 100% ! I said EXCUSE ME ? And then he proceeded to tell me.

And, damn if, over the next 5 years, did I learn that he was right, albeit, I did learn some from what he said, and ( too much) from what I had to 'experience'. Sound confusing ? Here goes the science. If you ( or I) were not somehow fucked up in your ( or my thinking) then how in the name of Sam Houston did you ( or me) pick out - using our free will, such a psycho bitch in the 1st place ? I know, you'll say, ( and I said) - she WASN'T LIKE THIS in the beginning. Bull shit, bullshit, BULLSHIT ! You and I BOTH had intuition tips to let us know 'something' was not perfect.

Come on, think back, did you or did you not have some TIPS. A buddy's comment that you discounted. A parents look that you tried to overlook. A noticeable problem - not quite GREAT sex, big upset over something little, or a fear about her and yawls relationship, or a bummer realization that you and sweet pants ( wife # 1) never could quite find a way to really and truly RESOLVE issues could you ? Come on - fess up, tell the truth ... So, what Doc ultimately got through my head was that, even if my ex was fucked up ( and He never said that, although some part of me WANTED him too - sic) how could I not be kind of fucked up too - since I PICKED HER OUT !

Yikes, that was a tough cup of truth for me to drink. Fast forward, I decided to read books, got to seminars, focus on things I loved to do, for myself and especially for other people and THEN I found a great girl that I just kind of attracted in, without working at it, and we became good friends, then respectful and great friends, then romantic connected, and now we're engaged. And, I never worry about her, because I got enough of my bullshit untangled before we met, that I don't even relate to the way I USED TO interact in any of my long-term girlfriend relationships ( and one marriage).

Well in summary, I recommend that you look within, and work it to the point where you don't see any lack within your self, THEN 'attract' the most beautiful girl in the world to you so you can share your ABUNDANCE, rather than some poor girl who you kind of hope you can fix, or who can fix you. Or so it seems.

Wow, I guess I really wanted to share this with you.
And remember, all that I've just stated may not be true, but I think it is anyway.

Good luck !