Dude, I'm gonna throw down with you... I got it too. how'd you get it ? do you know ?
I got it like this, I'd been seeing this girl for a few weeks or a couple of months. (err I still am) we used rubbers but they sliped off me or broke often. I KNOW I was clean as I hadn't had sex with another human for quite a while before her and never had ANY kind of sore on me ever. I asked her if she was clean and she said she was early on when we met. I trust a person first off in a relationship myself, if they break the trust...well I dunno...anyway after a while I just stoped using the rubbers as she said she was clean. she didn't really protest.
anyway, after maybe 3 years (yep, years) we were doin' it and she was blowin me. I supose I was a tad agressive and I (she ?) cut my dick on a tooth. yep it hurt a bit but we kept going and went on to fucking...then I got sick as fuck and I got a lil sore on my dick right where the cut was. I went off to the free clinic and shure enough I got FUCKING HERPIES !!
well, the dock was a nice woman ( I was so glad she was a woman) and told me some chicks can have it for years and not even know it cause the sore is up in there out of view.
so I go home and we chat and it turns out she FUCKING KNEW ALL THE TIME !! oh man I just couldn't believe it. after so long (again, three years by then) I couldn't believe she was holding this secret from me. it made me pritty sad she was so scared to tell me. on one hand I was sad she was scared she'd loose me if she'd have told me first off (which she would have)
on the other I was furious she was such a selfish bitch she put me at risk so she could keep my company so to speak.
my ob's were about twice a year for three years or so but they have gone down to none. I havn't had an ob for 4+ years at all. I've thought I might be starting to have one but nothing happens.
one thing that pissed me off soooo bad was she'd taken away my most constant, loyal, and most acomplished sexual partner....ME !! fuck all twards the end of an ob (2 weeks or so) I wanted to wank so bad but the damn sore wasn't quite healed up yet !! lord that pissed me off !! god I feel so lucky my ob's have stoped it seems (knock on err heh wood )
I sorta feel now like I got traped by a sadly loney leper and I'm still there with her. her breech of my trust has slowly eroded our relationship to sorta friends that sleep w/ eachother. it was hard enough for me to speak to chicks before and now this has just made me feel like if I do ever truly break off with this chick I'm done w/ women because I just won't find the courage to toss this out on the table if I did meet a nice new girl plus I'll always have trust issues.
I've felt like a fool for staying with her, not shure weather to kill her ( no I'm not a violent person at all) and sad for her pain of being alone with this secret. she says she loves me but I do feel that someone who can do this is just too imiture to really feel love. after all she was too selfish with her lust to be with me than to tell me -who she thinks she loves- that she has this issue.
when I got it I did find msg boards dealing with it and frankly, they just scared me more, people can have some pritty bad kinds of ob's like sores between their balls and A hole. jezus how could you evan walk !! mine were small, about 1/8" on my dick head ( yeah I know sounds GREAT ) but lord it could be worse. so I just stoped looking at that shit.
I've never taken any drugs to help the ob's and they've never been so bad I couldn't work. ( my work is very phisical too) so I'm just luck there too cause like I said they've just stoped hapening.
another bummers is, herpies jokes arn't too funny anymore, too close to home ya know.
I have thought, where the fuck is the herpies only bar or club where you KNOW you can meet chicks that are down (heh) with it...
I think the reason I have such a low ob rate is that I'm pritty mellow, I rarly get too stressed out on stuff that's beyone my controll. stress is a trigger suposedly.
what should you do ?? fuck I dunno. I fear the big drug companys see more $$ to be made from maintenance drugs than a cure. maybe you shuld start that bar I mentioned...the HERPIES ONLY CLUB
pritty ironic to cause I'm a good looking dude, sorta like jonny dep but not so hollywood perfect and heroin thin.
pritty sad too, if I was alone again w/o my uhh gf, I just can't imagine asking a girl out. each time I think of it I just feel like some kind of leper and I don't even want to pollute her sweet bod w/ my sickness ( there was a sweet blond checker girl who used to make leading chatter to me, she was so farm fresh noxema girl looking. fuck I could even see having kids with that icon of womanhood but then I"M FUCKING DESEASED !!!)
yeah I know we all fantasize what strangers are all about, maybe she had a devils head tatooed on her ass and that's fine...but you know all the crazy thoughts that swim around in a humans head.
well, I hope you don't mind all the crap I've written, I don't mean to take over the thread or anything, just wanna say yer far from alone with your thoughts...yeah 1 in 5 whatever....it's all the thoughts theat swerl around, the doubts and fears and stuff....trying to muster up the courage just to hit the submit reply button......mfmgngngnn... uhhh did it.