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Old 09-13-2004, 11:58 AM   #5 (permalink)
Albion
Upright
 
If you see a $20 bill lying on the ground, do you sit around and wait to see if someone else picks it up, all the while wondering whether or not it's right to pick it up, or do you just pick it up and walk away?

My guess is that your girl though you weren’t interested in the beginning because of something, so she lost interest. Women tend to lose interest fast if a guy doesn't offer something they're looking for. I.E. you have enough confidence to go after what you want in life.

A bit of advice… The first meeting, the first phone call (Never use e-mail for this encounter), and the first date are crucial to the rest of the relationship. I'd have to say that 90% of what you do to make the relationship work past a few dates is determined in those first three "meetings".

In the first meeting you need to find out enough about her that you can make a good decision on what would be fun for a first date. Don't sound wishy washy, ask her questions about herself, and offer enough information about yourself to let her know you're not a creep but to keep her guessing. Also, do not spend to much time talking to her, find out the information, get her number and get back to your friends. If she is interested in you she'll virtually be sitting by the phone waiting for your call.

The first phone call should be short and sweet. It should last no longer then 15 or so minutes at the most. The crucial part is that you ask her on a first date. By no means ask her "Are you doing anything tonight?" This is wishy washy and it makes you sound like you're unable to take charge or make a decision. What works for me almost 90% of the time is to use what I found out about the girl at the first meeting (Hypothetically let's say we both love Shakespearian theater), "Hey, I got these tickets to see Macbeth at the Such and Such theater on Saturday Afternoon. I was supposed to go with a friend but she bombed out on me at the last minute. I was just going to let them go to waste, but figured since you really like Shakespeare you might want to go with?" Notice how I took charge? I didn't sound demanding but I gave her a real option instead of "Are you doing anything?"

Two things to remember; obviously make sure you either have or can get the tickets. Personally I would buy the tickets and waste them if she said no before I would try to get them after she said yes. And secondly, have a nice quiet public place picked out to go talk afterward. Preferably a place you know and like to go. It's always bonus points if you know people who work at the place you're going to.

NOTE: NEVER take a girl to a club on the first or second date. You want her undivided attention on you, not other people at the club who may be hitting on her. It could swing her attraction toward you if she starts talking to someone who shows her a better time.

And lastly the date itself… Many people will say, and I agree, that seeing a movie or theater on a first date isn't a good idea because it doesn't give the two of you a chance to talk. This is why I choose theater in the afternoon and coffee afterward. You both get to enjoy something you really love and then have enough time talk afterward. This is where you really start to get to know her. Just keep asking her questions as if you are genuinely interested in the answers (actually if you like her you should be genuinely interested). You should give her a little bit more information about yourself but only offer it up if she asks you about it. Keeping a woman guessing increases her attraction toward you.

And two last notes… First, be genuine! Even if you're not all that interested in something that she's passionate about, seem as if you are interested. And second, if after a few dates you are not interested in her, genuinely let her know that. Don't lead her to believe that you feel differently then you do.

-Al
Albion is offline  
 

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