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sexymama · 09-09-2004, 08:45 PM

At first I was going to suggest counseling, and/or the book "Relationship Rescue." But then I read your second post.

What are you doing staying in this relationship? I hear you saying it is for the girls; but I wonder what staying in this situation models for them. They see that daddy treats mommy poorly and mommy puts up with it. When they have their own relationships, they will model them after your's. I know, my sisters have done that. Two of them have been married over 20 years to men who drink and have affairs. Why? Because my dad was verbally abusive to my mom and he had many affairs; yet she stayed with him for over 36 years. Finally he left her for another woman. My sisters think that their marriages are "normal." Well, it isn't normal to be treated poorly. You deserve better and so do your daughters!

I divorced just over two years ago. I stayed with my ex from '98 - '01 for the children's sake. When I finally left him, the older children said "it's about time." Don't kid yourself, the girls see and know the truth. That won't stop them from loving their father -- but they will understand.

In-the-meantime, I highly recommend counseling for yourself and for the girls. It will help you all cope and will help you know how to help them deal.

Best of luck and happy unanniversary.

09-09-2004, 08:45 PM	#10 (permalink)
sexymama My own person -- his by choice Location: Lebell's arms	At first I was going to suggest counseling, and/or the book "Relationship Rescue." But then I read your second post. What are you doing staying in this relationship? I hear you saying it is for the girls; but I wonder what staying in this situation models for them. They see that daddy treats mommy poorly and mommy puts up with it. When they have their own relationships, they will model them after your's. I know, my sisters have done that. Two of them have been married over 20 years to men who drink and have affairs. Why? Because my dad was verbally abusive to my mom and he had many affairs; yet she stayed with him for over 36 years. Finally he left her for another woman. My sisters think that their marriages are "normal." Well, it isn't normal to be treated poorly. You deserve better and so do your daughters! I divorced just over two years ago. I stayed with my ex from '98 - '01 for the children's sake. When I finally left him, the older children said "it's about time." Don't kid yourself, the girls see and know the truth. That won't stop them from loving their father -- but they will understand. In-the-meantime, I highly recommend counseling for yourself and for the girls. It will help you all cope and will help you know how to help them deal. Best of luck and happy unanniversary. __________________ If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection. Last edited by sexymama; 09-09-2004 at 08:53 PM..