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Thank you all for your comments and support. I guess I don't want to be the bad guy in this-the spouse's siblings are both divorced and I remember how everyone else badmouthed the exes. I don't feel love for him any more and I think if I or we went to counselling, it would not be to save the marriage as I don't want to. It'd be more to cope with the impending split. I don't want animosity or hate.
I will never marry again. I went from Daddy to husband-never went off to college and only left home for a year at 18 to live with and help out my best friend and her kid. I've never been by myself or had to answer to only myself.
So, if and when the time comes to call it a day, it will be to be independent, regardless of how I and my friend feel about each other.
My kids are 12(twins). My daughter sometimes shows signs of being affected-when he yelled at me in a restaurant to 'shut up', she hugged me and said, 'you're my favorite, Mom.' Their comments are sometimes not kind about their father, but they've shown no anger. I don't know how it affects my son, but when I hear how his father sometimes talks to him-belittling and a bit whiney and accusatory, my heart breaks for him. He doesn't talk that way to his daughter, although he is lately getting testy even with her about non-issues like going for school supplies.
Now he is trying to be a bit more attentive as the anniversary approaches. GAG me with a spoon......
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