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vanblah · 09-08-2004, 08:05 AM

Shakran -

Could you give us an example of an alternative? We've heard from some people that time-outs don't seem to work with their children. My daughter is 3 and time-outs work for her; but I've seen several children her age that don't respond to time-outs.

By time-out I don't mean locking her in her bedroom either ... that would just make her afraid of her bedroom (at this age). We have a designated chair that she must sit in for a few minutes until she calms down. We've been using this tactic ever since she was about 18 months old. At first, it didn't seem to work, but after gently taking her back to the chair several times she eventually got the picture. Of course, that doesn't mean that I haven't raised my voice to her ... but the look of fear on her face when I have yelled is enough to make me never want to do that again. And now, she will put herself in time-out if she starts to throw a temper-tantrum.

So time-outs work great for my daughter ... but they don't seem to work for the original poster's son. You've quoted the Washington Post and you've said that the end result of the Vinegar Option may be psychologically damaging. But you've offered no alternatives.

I agree with your point about "trying to give a child medicine and explaining that it's not punishment when you use food as punishment". That makes perfect sense.

The problem with this kind of advice is that no one thing really works ... and unless you've started one kind of discipline at an early age and STUCK WITH IT nothing seems to work as the kid gets older. I have a feeling that my daughter will "respect" the time-out chair until she's old enough to be sent to her room.

09-08-2004, 08:05 AM	#28 (permalink)
vanblah Junkie	Shakran - Could you give us an example of an alternative? We've heard from some people that time-outs don't seem to work with their children. My daughter is 3 and time-outs work for her; but I've seen several children her age that don't respond to time-outs. By time-out I don't mean locking her in her bedroom either ... that would just make her afraid of her bedroom (at this age). We have a designated chair that she must sit in for a few minutes until she calms down. We've been using this tactic ever since she was about 18 months old. At first, it didn't seem to work, but after gently taking her back to the chair several times she eventually got the picture. Of course, that doesn't mean that I haven't raised my voice to her ... but the look of fear on her face when I have yelled is enough to make me never want to do that again. And now, she will put herself in time-out if she starts to throw a temper-tantrum. So time-outs work great for my daughter ... but they don't seem to work for the original poster's son. You've quoted the Washington Post and you've said that the end result of the Vinegar Option may be psychologically damaging. But you've offered no alternatives. I agree with your point about "trying to give a child medicine and explaining that it's not punishment when you use food as punishment". That makes perfect sense. The problem with this kind of advice is that no one thing really works ... and unless you've started one kind of discipline at an early age and STUCK WITH IT nothing seems to work as the kid gets older. I have a feeling that my daughter will "respect" the time-out chair until she's old enough to be sent to her room.