My mother seems to be getting worse. It could simply be her way of manipulating because there are times that it SEEMS like I've caught her "faking" her forgetfulness. Then again her best friend and I have spoken about it and so has my brother and his wife. They've all noticed it.
My mother is forgetful. Moreso than anyone should be. She forgets that she's promised to do things with us or for us. She forgets that we've promised to do things for her and then calls up, in an accusitory tone, and asks us if we're going to do anything to help the family. She fails to remember when we've told her about things going on in our lives and then accuses us of withholding information because we are doing sinful things or because we don't want her to be a part of her life. She forgot that I'd promised to give her a mother's day present as soon as I could see her. I'd planned to give it to her on this past mother's day but she'd make plans to be alone with Dad. No problem. I told her I'd give it to her Mon. I had called her in the morning and told her I was coming over (knowing she was forgetful) but when I got there she was gone. She'd completely forgotten that I was coming and she'd left for the grocery store. I went home and when she finally came by my place because I had kids to babysit at that point she forgot why she'd come by. She sat down on the sofa and asked me what I wanted her for.
It seems like it's getting worse. I'm not sure if she gets accusitory to try to cover up the feeling that she is forgetting things and it's upsetting to her. It feels like she's trying to make everyone else feel guilty so they'll do more for her. She does use guilt to manipulate. Always has. Now it's hard to discern between what's a real guilt trip or maybe a coverup.
In the past 2 months she's mentioned to me 3 times about what I'm going to do with her when she's unable to function. I know she's concerned about it. I haven't committed to more than this. I EXPECT to be responsible for helping her out. Putting her in a nursing home is the last thing I want to do. We are buying a house even closer to hers so if I need to see her daily to help Dad take care of her it will be possible. I can't really say more. I don't know what each situation will bring and what I can handle and do.
If she IS actually experiencing some senility or early alzheimers (no family history of it though) should I be encouraging her to see a Dr about it? Should I go to the Dr with her? How in the world could I approach her about it??!
If she ISN'T experiencing a legit problem and is being purely manipulative then how do I know? Speaking to her about her forgetting things or reminding her of things seems to always turn into accusations of me for not ever being completely open with her about things. There could be more than one reason for that kind of response. I'm frustrated. It's irritating hubby since he knows her past manipulative behavior as well and can't help but see this as the same. My sister-in-law is mostly avoiding her because of how my mother's accusations of her and my brother have offended her.
Any suggestions or simply commiserating would be helpful.
