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Gogogo · 08-28-2004, 06:30 PM

Warning: Long post and lots of rambling.

Ok, it's saturday night, I am a little drunk and I just came home from a party.
I get hit on all the time, and I know most guys would dream about being in my situation, but recently I have become very insecure sexually. I don't really have anyone to talk about it with so maybe you guys could help a little.

I'll tell a little about myself. I have had a pretty tough life, but still a good one. I had a lot of anger against the world and in my teens and early twenties and I had two ways of dealing with that anger. One was to play guitar, and the other one was sex. I became good at both. I knew that in this fucked up there were two things that I did better than most.

I was an asshole. Several times I slept with girls that had boyfriends, but a lot more hit on me. Although they all, but one, said that they were single or "they had just broken up", they all lied. There were other girls too of course.

Then, in my mid twenties, I met a girl that I had a fling with, but quickly fell in love. I really, really loved her (still do, but we're through now). My life had finally turned for the better, but not only because of her. Other things started to go right for me as well. It was my first love, and I wanted it to be special, different and great in bed. It was not.

I had never loved anyone and it really meant something to me. It felt so different, so much better, and it was as though I was a virgin, not at sex, but at love. Of course this carried over to the sex and I became insecure. And as is typical when a guy gets insecure, I came waaay to easily. This made me more insecure, and a bad circle started. The sex was good, but not great, at first then it became pretty bad.

The problem is that even though we are not together anymore, this insecurity stays with me and I don't know how to get rid of it. Of course it makes it worse that I know that insecurity is the biggest turn-off for women. (Why do you think all those girls with boyfriends wanted me?). I really want to get that confidence back, but I don't know how, so maybe you guys could help me out here a little bit?

08-28-2004, 06:30 PM	#1 (permalink)
Gogogo Upright	Insecurity Warning: Long post and lots of rambling. Ok, it's saturday night, I am a little drunk and I just came home from a party. I get hit on all the time, and I know most guys would dream about being in my situation, but recently I have become very insecure sexually. I don't really have anyone to talk about it with so maybe you guys could help a little. I'll tell a little about myself. I have had a pretty tough life, but still a good one. I had a lot of anger against the world and in my teens and early twenties and I had two ways of dealing with that anger. One was to play guitar, and the other one was sex. I became good at both. I knew that in this fucked up there were two things that I did better than most. I was an asshole. Several times I slept with girls that had boyfriends, but a lot more hit on me. Although they all, but one, said that they were single or "they had just broken up", they all lied. There were other girls too of course. Then, in my mid twenties, I met a girl that I had a fling with, but quickly fell in love. I really, really loved her (still do, but we're through now). My life had finally turned for the better, but not only because of her. Other things started to go right for me as well. It was my first love, and I wanted it to be special, different and great in bed. It was not. I had never loved anyone and it really meant something to me. It felt so different, so much better, and it was as though I was a virgin, not at sex, but at love. Of course this carried over to the sex and I became insecure. And as is typical when a guy gets insecure, I came waaay to easily. This made me more insecure, and a bad circle started. The sex was good, but not great, at first then it became pretty bad. The problem is that even though we are not together anymore, this insecurity stays with me and I don't know how to get rid of it. Of course it makes it worse that I know that insecurity is the biggest turn-off for women. (Why do you think all those girls with boyfriends wanted me?). I really want to get that confidence back, but I don't know how, so maybe you guys could help me out here a little bit?