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onetime2 · 08-27-2004, 04:40 AM

I am a child of divorce but my experience is a bit different than most I think. Up until I was about 4 we were a fairly typical family (albeit with some twists and turns not present in most families). When I was about 5 my mother started working and going back to school. My father was a truck driver who delivered meat in NYC and we lived in NJ. He had a habit of being out late and being away for days at a time. As my mother worked and went to school and my dad carried on his own life pretty much, my oldest sister (7 years older than me) took on more responsibility for me and my other sister (5 years older than me).

My parents argued a fair amount and there was a good amount of bad blood between them when they divorced around when I was 10. They continued to live together because the divorce gave my mother about 60% of the house and my father 40% with them not wanting to sell the house to split the money at the time. So, my father slept on the couch for many years with occassional reconciliations between the two.

At one point my mom kicked him out and he rented half a house on a lake nearby. I only recall visiting him there once and we did a little fishing. There were always fights between the two of them from the time I was 10 to 15 with occasional short periods of them getting along. My father died of a heart attack when I was 15 and he was still living with us at the time.

It was really a bizarre situation because I knew how much animosity my mom had developed over the years.

As far as what it did to me, I guess it made me very independent, introspectful, and self confident. When I was younger I was rather shy. At some point in all of it I began to really take stock in myself and compare my situation(s) with others and came to the conclusion that I adapt very well, analyze situations and people with very high accuracy, and have a better idea of how things rate in terms of being "good" or "bad".

Relationship wise it made me not overly excited about marriage. To me a marriage is just a piece of paper and I don't need a piece of paper and some legal status to be committed to someone. Of course that was a bit of a hiccup in my current relationship because my fiancee (who I've been dating for 7 years) was very marriage minded. My beliefs led me to delay proposing which really strained our relationship. Now, I've realized that I want to be married and I want that piece of paper. Not just for me but for her and our future children.

08-27-2004, 04:40 AM	#11 (permalink)
onetime2 Junkie Location: NJ	I am a child of divorce but my experience is a bit different than most I think. Up until I was about 4 we were a fairly typical family (albeit with some twists and turns not present in most families). When I was about 5 my mother started working and going back to school. My father was a truck driver who delivered meat in NYC and we lived in NJ. He had a habit of being out late and being away for days at a time. As my mother worked and went to school and my dad carried on his own life pretty much, my oldest sister (7 years older than me) took on more responsibility for me and my other sister (5 years older than me). My parents argued a fair amount and there was a good amount of bad blood between them when they divorced around when I was 10. They continued to live together because the divorce gave my mother about 60% of the house and my father 40% with them not wanting to sell the house to split the money at the time. So, my father slept on the couch for many years with occassional reconciliations between the two. At one point my mom kicked him out and he rented half a house on a lake nearby. I only recall visiting him there once and we did a little fishing. There were always fights between the two of them from the time I was 10 to 15 with occasional short periods of them getting along. My father died of a heart attack when I was 15 and he was still living with us at the time. It was really a bizarre situation because I knew how much animosity my mom had developed over the years. As far as what it did to me, I guess it made me very independent, introspectful, and self confident. When I was younger I was rather shy. At some point in all of it I began to really take stock in myself and compare my situation(s) with others and came to the conclusion that I adapt very well, analyze situations and people with very high accuracy, and have a better idea of how things rate in terms of being "good" or "bad". Relationship wise it made me not overly excited about marriage. To me a marriage is just a piece of paper and I don't need a piece of paper and some legal status to be committed to someone. Of course that was a bit of a hiccup in my current relationship because my fiancee (who I've been dating for 7 years) was very marriage minded. My beliefs led me to delay proposing which really strained our relationship. Now, I've realized that I want to be married and I want that piece of paper. Not just for me but for her and our future children. __________________ Strive to be more curious than ignorant.