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This just in.
Austin, Texas: Newswire
The Dixie Chicks will be missed by fellow Texans as they were consumed earlier today by a large group of cannibals chanting "three course meal, three course meal, three course meal".
Witness's stated that the Chicks put up a good fight but were eventually beaten to death with spatulas and hot pads.
In other news, the Dallas Cowboys are said to be in hiding as they don't seem to be able to fight their way out of a wet paper bag.
The Cowboy Cheerleaders are considering starting their own team as they are reported to have disassembled several dozen cannibals.
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Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you,
Jesus Christ and the American G. I.
One died for your soul, the other for your freedom
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