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LondonsBurning · 08-17-2004, 12:34 PM

If it helps I know exactly what you're talking about. I was diagnosed bipolar this past February. Dropped out of school, and sought immediate counseling and medical treatment. Am taking Tetracil and Paxil CR. Struggle daily with sexual side effects and constantly feel like giving up on taking the meds since I see no immediate results in sight of things getting better. It takes forever to see my nurse practitioner who decides what meds I should take which takes a month or two to arrange only to have a short 15 to 20 minute conversation the inevitably ends in "lets increase the dosage" only to find the increased dosage does some short term good but wears off within a week or two. Rinse and repeat. I'm just now at the minimal dosage that the Tetracial is supposed to actually help treat the bipolar disorder, and it has actually done little good if only for an extremely short while. At 600 mg a day, I've read about people taking the medication who need to take up to 1200 to 1500 mg a day to get a sense of normalcy. The slow raising of the dosage that takes a month or two before I'm okayed to do so frustrates me to no end, since my practitioner only increses the dosage to half a pill with each visit. I feel like it does nothing anyways, yet I persist on taking it because I have nothing else to believe in, that is unless I'm in a sense of hysteria where everything feels possible. I fear by the time I do reach a dosage that will be high enough to help me, my whole life will have passed me by, and I'll be yet another semester delayed from graduating college, and ever more dependant on my family to help provide. I've lost many a friends due to this disorder and have feel as though I've forgotten how to act "normal" around everyday people I'd pass by when I actually leave my house. This illness frustrates me to no end, and I'm fucking sick of it, yet I am smart enough to realize that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and to persist and have faith that I will be able to go on with my life, albeit with a few every morning when I wake up to help me get by.

08-17-2004, 12:34 PM	#9 (permalink)
LondonsBurning Upright	If it helps I know exactly what you're talking about. I was diagnosed bipolar this past February. Dropped out of school, and sought immediate counseling and medical treatment. Am taking Tetracil and Paxil CR. Struggle daily with sexual side effects and constantly feel like giving up on taking the meds since I see no immediate results in sight of things getting better. It takes forever to see my nurse practitioner who decides what meds I should take which takes a month or two to arrange only to have a short 15 to 20 minute conversation the inevitably ends in "lets increase the dosage" only to find the increased dosage does some short term good but wears off within a week or two. Rinse and repeat. I'm just now at the minimal dosage that the Tetracial is supposed to actually help treat the bipolar disorder, and it has actually done little good if only for an extremely short while. At 600 mg a day, I've read about people taking the medication who need to take up to 1200 to 1500 mg a day to get a sense of normalcy. The slow raising of the dosage that takes a month or two before I'm okayed to do so frustrates me to no end, since my practitioner only increses the dosage to half a pill with each visit. I feel like it does nothing anyways, yet I persist on taking it because I have nothing else to believe in, that is unless I'm in a sense of hysteria where everything feels possible. I fear by the time I do reach a dosage that will be high enough to help me, my whole life will have passed me by, and I'll be yet another semester delayed from graduating college, and ever more dependant on my family to help provide. I've lost many a friends due to this disorder and have feel as though I've forgotten how to act "normal" around everyday people I'd pass by when I actually leave my house. This illness frustrates me to no end, and I'm fucking sick of it, yet I am smart enough to realize that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and to persist and have faith that I will be able to go on with my life, albeit with a few every morning when I wake up to help me get by.