LondonsBurning

My situation is pretty serious. An ex-gf of mine is in the sorry situation of being a mother at 17. She's currently 7 months pregnant and is due to be married with the father sometime in the future. Thing is, I can tell for a fact that the situation will only get worse if she sticks with him. I'm (Austin) currently not located in the same city as her (Ft.Worth), and have been friends with her for over a year since our breakup. Basically when I found out she was a minor after the second date, I broke it off. Never did anything sexual with her other than a kiss and cuddling. This future husband wasn't so bright. The man is 26 and knocked her up when she was 16 (Was 19 at the time when we dated. 20 now.) I'd love to help her if I could.


I'm a local college student in Austin, still living in the same house as my mother. We have an extra room that she could stay in, but honestly she'd have no help here if she did stay. We're not very rich, and naturally my mother would have no interest in helping a complete stranger. I'm honestly the type of guy that would take in a box full of abandoned hungry kittens on the street if it were possible. I like to pretty much go out of my way to help others if it's at all possible. So like I said if it was possible that I could provide for her in the shorterm to the point where she graduated highschool, and was atleast able to get through college so she could get her associates degree and make a living on her own without this future loser she's going to marry I would. But like I said, I'm a jobless college student trying to start the advance of my own future career. I can't help her.


So the next best situation I can think of, would be to show her other alternatives she can follow other than marrying this douchebag, who has hit her in the past, and invariably knocked her off, and most likely will knock her up more to the point where she might have so many kids that eventually when it gets to the point where she does want to get away from him, she'll be so financially dependent on him that she can't. He doesn't make much money (poor to lower middle class), so basically I can just see where things would go if she stuck herself with him. Being someone that's very pro-life, as is she, abortion isn't an option, although it would be the easiest way out.

Naturally you'd think her parents would step in and offer help to raise her and the child, but the father did exactly what her fiance did to her mom, which was have sex with a minor and knock her up. I've talked to the dad and he's a decent enough guy, but lets face it, she's been raised around losers, and to emphasize that point more, they can't help her raise the child. So basically she feels her only option is to marry this guy to provide for the child. I've talked to her, and she doesn't really want to, but doesn't see any other options, and lets face it, there really aren't many situations that are any better.

So since I can't help her, I'm thinking of shelters she can go to that would be able to provide help for her. She's Baptist, so any Baptist shelters that could provide her services, counseling, job help, and assistance raising the child, and becoming a good mother would be great.. Honestly a single mother shelter doesn't really offer anything much better than what her potential husband could offer, but atleast she wouldn't dig herself in a hole any deeper by having more kids with him, and feeling hopelessly stuck anymore than what she already is. And I think there would be a brighter light if she did go to a shelter for help, in the sense that she could find other single mothers in situatitons similar to hers for help, and gather a sense of independence instead of relying on the loser men in her life. I know there's many other teenage mothers in the U.S that follow this same path, but I feel if I can help alleviate this one situation, it would be not only make the world a much better place, but would also impact the lives of the mother and her child in a hopefully positive manner. I still plan on helping any way I can, but her potential future husband doesn't want any men talking to her out of jealousy. Understandable I guess, but I can't help but feel sorry for her and the situation she put herself in. Yes it was her fault for falling for such a loser without birth control (she used a condom, but obviously not good enough), but I think she's a perfect example of growing up in an environment and being doomed to follow the same path. As much as it is her fault for making that choice, I still want to help her.

So basically if anyone here has any information, help/advice on this situation to help her, by all means provide it. My plan is to gather as many resources full of information of single mother shelters in Ft.Worth, stories of single mothers in situations that felt she had no other alternatives similar to hers, and after results that prove it's possible she can get out of the hole she's dug herself in, and find a light with a good future ahead of her, albeit a tough road to walk to get through it all. I just want to try and help her as much as I can because I'd hate to see her life go in the direction it's going in without doing everything I can to help change it. Inevitably it'll be her decision to decide what to do, but still any way I can influence that decision to not marry this loser, the better. Thanks in advance.