Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - A perfect relationship except for one thing

The Phenomenon · 08-13-2004, 04:14 AM

Look, its simple: There are many risks involved when you have sex. One of them is pregnancy. This risk can be diminished to almost nothing with a condom and the pill. With the combination of the two there is virtually NO chance of you two becoming pregnant. Next year a male contraceptive pill will be available thats supposed to be even more effective than the female one, with none of the nasty side effects.

OBVIOUSLY your girl is morally opposed to abortion. She is still open to other people's own moral decision regarding abortion, but she has already decided that she is not going down that road. But there are two things going here as far as I am concerned. First of all I feel that the pregnancy is as much your business as it is hers, even though it occurs in her body. And since you will be the ne paying for the kid if he is born, you should have some say as far as the abortion goes. But since this a 50% artnership each there is no easy way with this.

She has been honest with you: She said that an abortion is out of the question for her. Have you discussed how you feel with her? Either take the risk of having a kid and keeping it by sleeping with her, or abstain until you are ready to have children. Or have a vasectomy or something. This is not something to go ruining a relationship over, and I sure as hell hope that this question was not intended as a "should I leave her?".

It boils down to these few options:

1. Take the small risk by having sex with her, knowing full well that if she becomes pregnant that you are going to have a child.
2. Don't have sex with her but stay with her until you are ready to accept the possibility of a child in your life.
3. Leave her.

Oh and option 3 is the total asshole option, by the way.

08-13-2004, 04:14 AM	#15 (permalink)
The Phenomenon Psycho Location: I think my horns are coming out	Look, its simple: There are many risks involved when you have sex. One of them is pregnancy. This risk can be diminished to almost nothing with a condom and the pill. With the combination of the two there is virtually NO chance of you two becoming pregnant. Next year a male contraceptive pill will be available thats supposed to be even more effective than the female one, with none of the nasty side effects. OBVIOUSLY your girl is morally opposed to abortion. She is still open to other people's own moral decision regarding abortion, but she has already decided that she is not going down that road. But there are two things going here as far as I am concerned. First of all I feel that the pregnancy is as much your business as it is hers, even though it occurs in her body. And since you will be the ne paying for the kid if he is born, you should have some say as far as the abortion goes. But since this a 50% artnership each there is no easy way with this. She has been honest with you: She said that an abortion is out of the question for her. Have you discussed how you feel with her? Either take the risk of having a kid and keeping it by sleeping with her, or abstain until you are ready to have children. Or have a vasectomy or something. This is not something to go ruining a relationship over, and I sure as hell hope that this question was not intended as a "should I leave her?". It boils down to these few options: 1. Take the small risk by having sex with her, knowing full well that if she becomes pregnant that you are going to have a child. 2. Don't have sex with her but stay with her until you are ready to accept the possibility of a child in your life. 3. Leave her. Oh and option 3 is the total asshole option, by the way. __________________ Do not confuse altruism with kindness, good will or respect for the rights of others. These are not primaries, but consequences, which, in fact, altruism makes impossible. The irreducible primary of altruism, the basic absolute, is self-sacrifice - which means: self-immolation, self-abnegation, self-denial, self-destruction - which means: the self as a standard of evil, the selfless as a standard of the good.