moonstrucksoul

my whole life, i have lived in the void of not knowing. I have never heard from God in any fashion that I have recognized. But now more than ever I need faith. Faith that everything will work out. Faith that what I feel is right. Faith that everything is OK.
A few months ago I slipped back into a depression, alot like the one I was in over a year ago. maybe worse. when I am depressed, I do things, like forget to show my wife how much I love her and say things I don't mean. All of these things have caught up with me. Now after her struggling to help me out this for a while she has given up hope that I will come out of it and that I can stay out of it. Why does it take the worst possible thing to make me want to change the way I feel about my life?
She did this to me a little over a year ago, and things were going great. but then she broke my trust, and it has been going down hill ever since. I forgave her, but it seems that once you start falling, you forget WHY you jumped out of the airplane. It's hard for me to trust in the fact that this isn't going to turn out like it did last time. I need the faith that no matter what, whether she leaves me or not, that everything will be ok.


So, where do you draw your faith from?

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