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The mere fact that you're having problems deciding how to approach this situation indicates that she's not just another of the women that, as you said, you go to lunch with all the time. If it was that, then you wouldn't be posting about it.
I think you're attracted to her, and are flattered by her showing interest in you. And what with things not going quite ok at home, it's all a little confusing. I mean, if there was no physical attaction, you'd have no problems taking her to lunch and defining the nature of your relationship.
In the light of all this, I'd advise against taking her out to lunch. It's awkward, and confusing, especially if you're not really sure about what she expects from you, and even more because you yourself don't seem to realise that you might want more than what you're willing to admit.
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I want no escape.
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