[Long kindof sappy life story]
August 19th at 6 am my time, my American baby will be landing at Schiphol airport and after 4 years of chatting, camming and writing, her and me will meet in person and will go on vacation for 11 days.
I've shared a lot with this girl. A lot of good times (::smiles thinking about summers spent chatting with her, sometimes for up to 7 hours:
and bad times (her parents moving from place to place, me getting RSI from spending so much time behind a comp
) and halfway through those 4 years, we became best friends. A year later we started to feel even more for eachother. A month or so ago I asked her ("eventhough it's stupid and moronic") if she wanted to call me her boyfriend. And she said yes
.
We are going to stay in 3 places, first in Amsterdam, then in Vlissingen (my hometown) then in Paris and finally we spend the last couple of days in Amsterdam.
But I am scared. So scared.
See me and her are both pretty inexperianced. Both with love and with sex. Neither of us have had a relationship before and almost no experiance with sex (she's been with 3 guys although none of it really ideal, or so she says).
And we really love eachother.
But I am scared. I am scared because I've never been in a relationship before. And because as much as I want to see her and hold her in RL(tm), all of it is new territory... and I really don't want to screw this up.
Also, as much as I can speak online and be witty and at ease, RL is much different... I suffer from minor social anxiety and bouts of depression that make it so that my voice jumps around and it's hard for me to be the person I want to be.
Now she knows about all this and she accepts it. I get the feeling that she genuinely loves me for ME. Which makes me adore her even more. BUT...
[/Long kindof sappy life story]
How can I keep my fear in check?
I don't want it to rule me and make me act like somebody I'm not.
And more specific, when it comes to love/sex, is there anything anyone can tell me to prepare myself from feeling this horrible fear of "OMG! I'm goanna sleep with a girl, but I've never done this before... what if I screw up?"
Oh, and on a related note, know anything (specific) fun to do for two shy people who are in love and have just met in Amsterdam and Paris?