Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post

The Phenomenon · 08-04-2004, 12:43 AM

Tough situation.

Personally, I would not be able to continue a relationship with a girl that cheated on me. Maybe I would if my current GF did, but I am not sure since I have never been in this situation.

Cheating is probably the most horrible thing I can imagine happening. If I were you, and I am not, I would break it off with her. Chances are, if she cheated once (actually you have no idea how many times) she'd cheat again. Of course you are having major trust issues! She broke all the trust you had in her by having sex with some other guy. You don't trust her, and she is not deserving of any trust at all. She proved that. I would not know how to take this forward. I would break it off...

If you do continue, its HER responsibility to regain your trust. She has to want to take this further, she has to disclose everything she did, she has to take responsibility for what she has done. Make sure she understands EXACTLY what she did to you by cheating. Then she has to get to work and try to make this better. She has to try to make this up to you. She has to earn your trust, and prove that she is worthy of it. And if she does, and if you want to continue, you have to forgive her COMPLETELY. I think that would be the hardest part.

Make sure you see eachother regularly, twice a month atleast. She's only an hour away. Once a month you can commute to her, and once a month she can commute to you. She has to try and see you as much as she can, and the same for you. Atleast call eachother a few times a week.

Thats all I can think of... Still I don't think I have it in me to forgive such a thing...

08-04-2004, 12:43 AM	#18 (permalink)
The Phenomenon Psycho Location: I think my horns are coming out	Tough situation. Personally, I would not be able to continue a relationship with a girl that cheated on me. Maybe I would if my current GF did, but I am not sure since I have never been in this situation. Cheating is probably the most horrible thing I can imagine happening. If I were you, and I am not, I would break it off with her. Chances are, if she cheated once (actually you have no idea how many times) she'd cheat again. Of course you are having major trust issues! She broke all the trust you had in her by having sex with some other guy. You don't trust her, and she is not deserving of any trust at all. She proved that. I would not know how to take this forward. I would break it off... If you do continue, its HER responsibility to regain your trust. She has to want to take this further, she has to disclose everything she did, she has to take responsibility for what she has done. Make sure she understands EXACTLY what she did to you by cheating. Then she has to get to work and try to make this better. She has to try to make this up to you. She has to earn your trust, and prove that she is worthy of it. And if she does, and if you want to continue, you have to forgive her COMPLETELY. I think that would be the hardest part. Make sure you see eachother regularly, twice a month atleast. She's only an hour away. Once a month you can commute to her, and once a month she can commute to you. She has to try and see you as much as she can, and the same for you. Atleast call eachother a few times a week. Thats all I can think of... Still I don't think I have it in me to forgive such a thing... __________________ Do not confuse altruism with kindness, good will or respect for the rights of others. These are not primaries, but consequences, which, in fact, altruism makes impossible. The irreducible primary of altruism, the basic absolute, is self-sacrifice - which means: self-immolation, self-abnegation, self-denial, self-destruction - which means: the self as a standard of evil, the selfless as a standard of the good.