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Janni · 08-03-2004, 10:13 PM

Have you sat down with her and talked about it yet? She might have a reason why she isn't ever in the mood. For example, low self esteem, like you already suggested. If this is the case (while you should be doing this anway), make sure she knows how sexy you find her. When I know my boyfriend is thinking I'm sexy, then I start to feel more sexy. Especially if he just says it out of the blue, when I'm not doing anything at all having to do with sex.. Like, just look at her while she's doing dishes or curled up on the couch next to you and be like, "Damn. You are so sexy."

If she can't seem to explain it, or thinks it's her birth control, then look into another form of birth control. Tell her to ask her doctor about it and he'll be able to recommend a different brand for her to try. You could also choose to use condoms (male or female condoms), or also look into the patch or the shot (I'm not sure if those will make a difference. I heard that they're coming out with a birth control shot for men too, but I'm not sure when that'll be available.

Romantic evenings are really nice, but make sure you give her a lot of foreplay too (again, making her feel sexy as you're doing so). All I have to do is touch my boyfriend's penis and he's ready to go.. women need more than that. And don't go straight for the kill either. Start by touching her body in places other than her breasts/vagina, teasing her and caressing her while leaving those areas until the end. Take your time and make sure she doesn't feel like you're getting bored or anything. Make sure she knows that you love pleasuring her and would do anything to make her feel good.

As for porn, I agree with what someone else said--to look for porn made by women.. she might also enjoy some softcore porn.

Maybe another thing you could do is ask her about her fantasies. My boyfriend and I talk about our fantasies all the time and we both find it arousing and a way to find out things that the other person would like to try or things they get aroused by. Maybe she has a fantasy that the two of you could act out.

Also, I know if I'm stressed, I'm usually not in the mood. So if she's stressed out, try to help relieve some of her stress (i.e. help out around the house more often with cleaning, taking care of the kids if you have any.. maybe give her a night for herself where she can go out with her girlfriends and get a massage or do some shopping just for fun).

08-03-2004, 10:13 PM	#18 (permalink)
Janni Upright Location: Windsor, Ontario	Have you sat down with her and talked about it yet? She might have a reason why she isn't ever in the mood. For example, low self esteem, like you already suggested. If this is the case (while you should be doing this anway), make sure she knows how sexy you find her. When I know my boyfriend is thinking I'm sexy, then I start to feel more sexy. Especially if he just says it out of the blue, when I'm not doing anything at all having to do with sex.. Like, just look at her while she's doing dishes or curled up on the couch next to you and be like, "Damn. You are so sexy." If she can't seem to explain it, or thinks it's her birth control, then look into another form of birth control. Tell her to ask her doctor about it and he'll be able to recommend a different brand for her to try. You could also choose to use condoms (male or female condoms), or also look into the patch or the shot (I'm not sure if those will make a difference. I heard that they're coming out with a birth control shot for men too, but I'm not sure when that'll be available. Romantic evenings are really nice, but make sure you give her a lot of foreplay too (again, making her feel sexy as you're doing so). All I have to do is touch my boyfriend's penis and he's ready to go.. women need more than that. And don't go straight for the kill either. Start by touching her body in places other than her breasts/vagina, teasing her and caressing her while leaving those areas until the end. Take your time and make sure she doesn't feel like you're getting bored or anything. Make sure she knows that you love pleasuring her and would do anything to make her feel good. As for porn, I agree with what someone else said--to look for porn made by women.. she might also enjoy some softcore porn. Maybe another thing you could do is ask her about her fantasies. My boyfriend and I talk about our fantasies all the time and we both find it arousing and a way to find out things that the other person would like to try or things they get aroused by. Maybe she has a fantasy that the two of you could act out. Also, I know if I'm stressed, I'm usually not in the mood. So if she's stressed out, try to help relieve some of her stress (i.e. help out around the house more often with cleaning, taking care of the kids if you have any.. maybe give her a night for herself where she can go out with her girlfriends and get a massage or do some shopping just for fun).