Quote:
Originally posted by guthmund
Of course, they'll feel the effects. I think the point we were trying to make is that children, especially young ones, adapt pretty easy.
It's much harder for a 14 year old to accept that his daddy left his mommy for another woman than a 4 year old.
Children will adapt. If the situation has always been Mom lives here Dad lives there, then there's no system shock. No shake-up of the world that they've built around them. It's a bit different for a 12 year old going through the same thing.
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I'm sorry, but I think this completely oversimplifies the situation. Maybe it's just me, but I find the phrase *children will adapt* a platitude. Sure they'll adapt- they have no choice! But what about the little gaps in this wonderous adaption- the regression behavior (i.e. wetting the bed) or nightmares, problems at school and so on.
Please explain to me how it's *much easier* for a four year old to accept daddy dumping mommy for another woman, than it is for a 14 year old. At least a 14 y.o. has fairly developed cognitive reasoning abilites. All a four y. o. knows is Dad's not there anymore. I'm sure you've heard of abandonment issues. Childhood is where it all starts. It can be very hard to convince a young child that they are not the reason for the split up and furthermore, that just because Daddy left mommy, he won't dump the child as well.
Babaloo- I've been playing devil's advocate here, but if you feel you have no choice but to leave your spouse, I wish you and the kids the best.