Thanks to the filthy godless heathen for finding the passages 
I don't quite follow exactly what you're saying, Rand, but I'll try to respond. Since our present views have evolved from two sources; namely scripture and the Catholic church, I would consider what we view as being involved in marriage in essence the same as what the New Testament assumes by marriage.
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"Die Deutschen meinen, daß die Kraft sich in Härte und Grausamkeit offenbaren müsse, sie unterwerfen sich dann gerne und mit Bewunderung:[...]. Daß es Kraft giebt in der Milde und Stille, das glauben sie nicht leicht."
"The Germans believe that power must reveal itself in hardness and cruelty and then submit themselves gladly and with admiration[...]. They do not believe readily that there is power in meekness and calm."
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
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