ForgottenKnight

I love how it flows with the rythm!

Here's a tip of advice I learned late during last semester when getting constructive criticism for my work:
One should not use abreviations like 'til, 'tis, etc, but instead "until" and "it is," even if it breaks the pattern for number of syllibles. Instead it is okay to break the syllibles pattern, especially when it will help smooth out the flow and rythm. Using those is a common beginers mistake made in an effort to make one's writing sound as if it were written by a professional from another time. This is a mistake that even I have made many times, so don't feel bad about it.
Now for that particular sentence, I would either break that syllible pattern and have:
"My love
which never shall grow weak
Or until
at least another week
When I
shall fall in love once more"
or get rid of the "Or" and have:
"My love
which never shall grow weak
until
at least another week
When I
shall fall in love once more"
Then also to help the flow I would use the full word amorous rather than abriviating it as "am’rous."

Overall, great work! Please keep it up!

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