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Not to put too fine a point on it, your sister sounds like a total sociopath. Whew! I have an aunt like that - two children and two miscarriages by 4 different fathers, has NEVER held a job, locked her kids in the basement with a pet cougar (?!) when they were bad, took a bunch of pills and made her 8-year-old call 911, then cried and said it hurt her feelings that we testified against her in her custody case. WTF?!
Back to your insane sibling, the easiest thing to do would be to shell out the $1.75/load to do your own laundry, and see your parents and your neice at your place, without your sister. Talking to her isn't going to do any good as she's obviously beyond reason, so don't waste your breath. Try to find some seed of pity and compassion for her that makes it bearable to even be in the same room with her and not want to stomp on her head, for the sake of your own blood pressure and for your neice, who needs as many stable adult influences in her life as possible. I'm sure your parents have heard all the arguments about enabling her and stuff before, but it can't hurt to point it out again, although for the sake of your neice, again, it may be better in their eyes to put up with your sister's shit to maintain some control over your neice's upbringing.
I feel for you - I've seen my whole family deal with my aunt's bullshit for years, and eventually you have to realize that she's just playing by a different set of rules. I don't know that your sister is beyond help, as my aunt is, but it kind of sounds like the best thing for you all to do is to adapt and do the best you can till she grows up or, mercifully, leaves the child with your parents and disappears.
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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."
- Anatole France
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