Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - The affair

babaloo · 05-07-2003, 09:35 AM

Double D - good rant. I guess I didn't fill in the story enough and I've had time to mull this since my first post.

No, I didn't just start thinking about a divorce in the last few weeks. It's been on my mind for quite a while. Then a short conversation with this woman made us both realize that we have similar issues with our marriages. As has been pointed out we have filled a void in our own lives with each other, at least for now. Are we really in love? I don't know for sure. What I do know is that I need out of my marriage with or without the other woman. As time has progressed I have come to the conclusion that, while her marriage is not what she wants, it may suit her for the time being. Again, I'm going through with a divorce with or without her. If she's there on the "other side", great. If not, then so be it. I simply can not to stay with my wife any longer.

Again, the kids come first. It's possible that their standard of living may not be as high for the next couple of years, I'll admit. But they will have a good house close to schools/parks/etc., food, good health insurance, professional daycare as needed, a growing 529 plan, etc., and, I truly feel, happier parents. It will affect them, no doubt. But so will my marriage to their mother.

So the long and the short of it - I have backed off some with the other woman. I have started contacting lawyers to learn my options. And I have had time to think about the kids. "This above all: To thine own self be true. And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man." My translation - take care of yourself and you'll be better at helping others.

Thanks for your thoughts.

05-07-2003, 09:35 AM	#25 (permalink)
babaloo Upright	Double D - good rant. I guess I didn't fill in the story enough and I've had time to mull this since my first post. No, I didn't just start thinking about a divorce in the last few weeks. It's been on my mind for quite a while. Then a short conversation with this woman made us both realize that we have similar issues with our marriages. As has been pointed out we have filled a void in our own lives with each other, at least for now. Are we really in love? I don't know for sure. What I do know is that I need out of my marriage with or without the other woman. As time has progressed I have come to the conclusion that, while her marriage is not what she wants, it may suit her for the time being. Again, I'm going through with a divorce with or without her. If she's there on the "other side", great. If not, then so be it. I simply can not to stay with my wife any longer. Again, the kids come first. It's possible that their standard of living may not be as high for the next couple of years, I'll admit. But they will have a good house close to schools/parks/etc., food, good health insurance, professional daycare as needed, a growing 529 plan, etc., and, I truly feel, happier parents. It will affect them, no doubt. But so will my marriage to their mother. So the long and the short of it - I have backed off some with the other woman. I have started contacting lawyers to learn my options. And I have had time to think about the kids. "This above all: To thine own self be true. And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man." My translation - take care of yourself and you'll be better at helping others. Thanks for your thoughts.