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I really think you need to talk to her about the issues as to why she doesn't want to take this step. Find out what the problems are and address them directly. It seems to me that not wanting to move in is definitely a sign that there is something that is holding her back. I mean after 4 years, and you have already talked about it before. I would definitely take offense to it myself. I can totally understand why you would see this as a make or break situation, because I would too. If you are ready to move forward, and for some reason there are issues that are making her not want that, you need to figure out what they are and see if you can work past them or not. I would suggest being active and having a serious talk with her. You need to do whatever will make you both happy, and hopefully that means you can take the relationship forward, if not, then you need to seriously consider your options...
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"That's why you're the judge and I'm the law-talking guy."
Lionel Hutz
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