bookerV

Well since relationship advice threads seem to be all the rage I will post my dilema and hopefully get some outside opinions on the matter. This is a bit difficult for me as I don't usually post about this kind of thing, but I really do feel a bit torn up inside and I need a wide variety of opinions.

Ok here we go. About mid April I met this girl at a bar. We hit it off big time. She came home with me (which she has never done before) but we didn't have sex because she didn't want to do that on the first night. We had a great time, get along REALLY well. We had both just got out of a serious relationship about a month prior to this. So the timing was not ideal. What was even less ideal was the fact that she was going home for the summer.

So for the next three weeks while she was here we saw each other a LOT. We talked every day, and saw each other almost every day. Spending the night with one another more often than not. Everything was fantastic between us. The problem looming though was her going away. She does not like the long distance thing, and I'm not a big fan of it either, it is very hard. She tells me that I have everything she looks for in a guy, and we are at basically the same place mentally when it comes to what we want and what we are ready for in a relationship (ie, we are both prepared for something serious if it comes to that).

Ok, so now she goes away with us agreeing to talk on the phone when we can, and be single, but to pick up where we left off when she gets back. This is tough but it seems the best. She has been in relationships back to back for the last 4 years, and I've done the same for the last 6 years. So she really wanted a summer to be on her own and not worry about someone else. However she also said she had no intentions of dating anyone else. She just wanted to be on her own and do her own thing. It was something she felt she had to do.

Ok, fast forward about a month. We had been talking almost every day. She says she wants to be with me and do the long distance thing. Ok, I ask her if she is sure, and it's what she wants to do. She says it is, all is good. We have booked a trip for the two of us to get away for a weekend when she gets back here.

Now we fast forward to last night. Things had been going great. Up until about a week ago she started to be a little distant. So we have a talk. She says that the long distance thing isn't working for her and she feels that she didn't get her time to be on her own. She says that if she didn't take the time she needs to be on her own, she is almost sure that it would cause problems between us because she wouldn't feel right. She says that I am an incredible guy and she wants to be with me, but she doesn't want this to get in the way so she wants us to be single for the remainder of the summer. She says that if we stayed together there is a very good chance that she wouldn't have the time she needed and she would resent it. We did only know each other for a short time in person and therefore she wants us to start fresh when she gets back. Go on our trip and sort some stuff out and just make things right. As for now the long distance isn't working, given that we only knew each other for a short time beforehand, and because of that something is "missing".

I asked her a LOT of questions about this. She says she is not interested in dating other guys since she is leaving where she is soon, and she wants to be with me. She doesn't sleep around so she doesn't want to sleep with anyone else. But while we were together if she was at a bar with her friends she said she would feel guilty about dancing with another guy, and that is the feeling that makes her feel like she didn't get the time she needed to be on her own.

She knows that she is taking a risk, because I am going to be single here too. I have been put through a lot with this so far. She is a great girl. We get along fantastically. But I am not going to sit around pining over her while she is out partying, I am going to do my own thing to. So the plan is to be single for the rest of the summer, then when she gets back, we start up a new relationship, and just take things slow and really get to know each other.

Should I be worried at all? Something just isn't sitting right with me. She tells me that if she didn't want to be with me she would just break up with me, but she wants it to work with me which is why she says she needs this time during the summer. I feel very confused. All I know at this point is that I am going to do some serious partying for the rest of the summer, but I just have this ache in my stomach. I really just want to be with her. Waiting for it is very hard. Ugh, am I nuts? Am I making a mountain out of a mole hill?

Sorry for the mega post, but it all just came out at once. I hate situations like this....

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"That's why you're the judge and I'm the law-talking guy."

Lionel Hutz