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i'm not quite how you describe but I think we all brood over how people hurt us... i would only get the kind of "instant downer" reaction you describe if it was someone i cared about doing the hurting. otherwise i would just add them to my list of assholes and carry on.
tricks... hmmm not necessarily advisable but these sometimes work for me
1) repeat "fuck 'em" x 100 - mean it
2) make sure you know you're right and they're wrong
3) try to get angry instead of getting upset
like i say i wouldn't necessarily recommend the above, but they may help. this is what i would recommend:
talk to someone about how it hurt you preferrably a counsellor. it does help. the talking helps as much, if not more than any advice they might give
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pain is inevitable but misery is optional - stick a geranium in your hat and be happy
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