my objective analysis of the situation:
Quote:
Originally posted by greeneyes
Recently, he's been very unsure of what he wants to do in life and where he wants to go, the typical worries of anyone about to graduate college. A few weeks back, he came over and out of the blue said that he wasn't sure he wants me to move away with him after he graduates in December, even though we have basically been planning that for months. He also made several comments that he wants to be single and so on and so forth. While he said later that he didn't mean that, he truly wants to be with me and not be single, I know that this couldn't have come from nowhere... there has to be some truth to these statements.
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i wouldn't worry too much about all the graduate worries... it's pretty common for people to not know where they're headed at this stage in their life. just try to give him support and be there for him when he's feeling confused or overwhelmed.
as for the "wanting to be single" comments, i'd say this ties in with all his other doubts. he probably feels so directionless that he's freaking out and thinking that he'll miss out on something... but it would be foolish to just up and leave you if things have been going so well because then he really will miss out on something.
Quote:
Originally posted by greeneyes
He says he doesn't know what he wants come December, we'll just have to wait and see; but I'm no longer sure I can do that. Can I invest myself in this relationship for the next six months on the chance that he'll want to be with me then? Should I take that risk?
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these are questions that no one can answer but yourself. if things are still going well, then why end it... because there's a chance things won't work out 6 months down the road? like lurkette said, no one ever knows what will happen in 6 months, and worrying about it could jeopardize things in the present and push him away so that he really won't want you to go with him in december.
but if you really do want that security and need to plan that far in the future, then maybe you and he just want too different of things. it sounds like he isn't going to have a very stable or balanced life for at least 6 months, probably longer, and if you can't handle that then you need to figure out what's more important to you and commit to that choice.
Quote:
Originally posted by greeneyes
We are both young, he twenty-two and I twenty, and while I'm not asking for the poor boy to settle down and marry me, I am asking him to try and factor me into his life in a "real" way. Is this too much to ask?
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no, that isn't too much to ask... but like i said earlier, it sounds like his life isn't too stable at this point and maybe he isn't really factoring anything into his life in a "real" way. granted, he's obviously going to have to shape up and mature fairly soon or else, and if he doesn't then you don't wanna be with a guy like that anyway. you deserve better.
overall, i think that there are some definate issues that need to be worked out... both parties need to figure out what they want with each other and with the other aspects in their lives... but i think that it would be foolish for either you or him to break up with each other based on these problems at this point. just enjoy each other's love and companionship and help support each other through the next 6 months. hopefully you both will have found some answers and can make some plans that make everyone happy. good luck.
--the "top-shelf guy"
