Blasphemy.

I don't even know where to start.

A few weeks ago I told my ex that I want to go back out with her very soon, I didn't know when though, but soon. She totally agreed to this. I love this girl, I can never stop thinking about her, and she is far too good for me.

I wake up this morning thinking about asking her up. Let me tell you I was in a good mood, but it was quick to stop. I get a message telling me from my ex that last night she got drunk and made out with a friend of mine.

To add to my little character theme, I am a very jealous guy. This definatey killed me inside and hurt me a lot.

In between this my mom loses both her cockatiels, which makes her quite sad because they were pretty much her babies. Hense making me more 'emoish' and sad.

But to top this off, I get told that another ex of mine...she is moving soon.... how can I explain. She went and had sex with my brother on Friday. My brother knew who she was, and what has happened between the two of us.

This is killing me. Fuck, all of this is absolutely killing me. I can't even think correct. I can't eat, I can't talk right anymore, I can't even sleep. I keep hyperventilating and crying. I don't know what to do or even think. I'd absolutely love to move out of this town and leave all my troubles behind, but I can't do that obviously. I can't even look at my brother anymore. I confronted the both of them today about, I made my brother cry. What kind of brother would do that though?

I don't even give a shit about the ex that is moving. I just want the first girl back. I want her back so bad. I don't blame her for anything she does or decides with. I'm sure I'd do the same. I just miss her and love her with everything I have. I've ruined everything. I had it all and i've lost it all just because I am a stupid idiot. I can't beleive myself. I've put her through so much shit while I just went and fucked around and ruined it.

I'm sorry for being annoying, I don't expect anybody to read this or even reply to it. I just needed to talk. Thanks for your time.?