You shouldn't be hard on yourself for not having it all figured out at age twenty-two, dualman. There are people several times your age who don't really know themselves. Acknowledging that fact in yourself is an important first step.
Self-mastery is a lifelong process. There is no distinct stage in our lives that we can point to and say we've perfected the
prima materia, as Jung and the medieval alchemists would put it. There are only small (but nevertheless critical) milestones.
I don't know what your philosophical or spiritual bent is, but there are many systems of self-actualization out there that are based on the personal experiences of wise and not-so-wise people down through the ages who have been there before, such as the martial arts, yoga, meditation, and ritual magic. One thing I can tell you is that logic and reason alone are not enough. Mastery of self requires exercising
all of the faculties.
Good luck on your quest. Regardless of the path you take, you will undoubtedly find it worth the effort.
