dualman7

It seems like no matter what we achieve through out our lives, when it comes to our mind, it's all about what have you done for me lately? Personally, I play in a softball league with a bunch of buddies. I go into every game with ultimate excitment and look forward to it. But then a error on my part occurs, and it just drives me nuts. For example today, I was coaching 1st base, and we're losing like 15-2 in the 5th inning. There's a pop fly to center field, and I tell the runner to GOOOO because there are 2 outs and the fielder might drop it. Ends up there was only 1 out and the runner gets picked off. I feel so bad about it that it's not even funny. The runner who got picked off is one of the nicest kids you will ever meet. He actually came back to the dugout and everyone was very upset with him, and he never even mentioned that it was my screw up and not his. I told the coach what had happened, but still. I apologized non stop to the runner, but even though he said it's okay, I know how upset he was with me.

Anyway, my post is more than just a softball rant, it's about the inability to make the mind feel like we want it to feel. I am 22 years old, and I think I have finally come to the realization that the only way to overcome negative thoughts/feelings and etc is action. Sitting on your butt and thinking about it does nothing. No matter how hard I try to use logic to make myself feel better, it doesn't always stick. Unfortunately for this incident, i have nowhere to go, and nothing to do except feel really bad at my stupidity causing another person to look bad. I wish he would have verbally exploded on me or something, but him handling it like he did just makes me feel even worse.