View Single Post
Old 06-27-2004, 07:03 AM   #6 (permalink)
ratbastid
Darth Papa
 
ratbastid's Avatar
 
Location: Yonder
Generally speaking, if you bring specific issues to the table, you'll get specific advice. OTOH, if you post general gripes, you'll get some people agreeing, some people disagreeing, and most people saying, "Hunh?"

Quote:
Originally posted by jthm
Okay I'll give an example if this will help. So I use to have feelings for this relatively good friend of mine I think more than 2 years ago now. We seem to have this way of dipping in and out of a tight friendshsip. Anyways this was two years ago and I was commended on being straightfoward but also thoroughly rejected, life goes on. However my present girlfriend, this good friend and I all hang out in the same crew now. Now whenever possibly my girlfriend must bring up that I used to like her and ask me if I still like her, what it was like back then and why I am not still into her. Now this is a sore spot even if it was two years ago and I am absolutely over it but I see no need to continue raising the subject. I've been with said girlfriend for over a year now, I'm in fucking love, I have gone above and beyond anything I had ever done for previous girlfriends for this girl and yet she can't seem to quit putting her goddamn nose in my past.
Look, rather than focusing on how much this annoys you, try and get in her head about it. Why would she keep bringing it up?

Here's why: she's insecure in your relationship. It took lurkette about 10 years to finally get that I love her and I'm not going anywhere. We'd been married for about six years by that point. What she would do is continually test me, bringing up old relationships or reasons why I shouldn't love her.

Yes, I got annoyed by it, but after a while I could hear it for what it was: she just needed my reassurance that I loved her. And after enough time, she could finally hear that.
ratbastid is offline  
 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360