You list all reasonable answers for saying no, one that a reasonable person would accept and understand.
That being said, she doesn't sound all that reasonable, she sounds selfish, and if I may be perfectly frank (or maleficent actually) she's not a friend if she's imposing herself on you and your family like that.
You've done your best with her, you've given her solid advice, she's choosing not to take it. Sometimes the best way to be a friend to someone is to stop being so available, She thinks she's got you as an easy out, she doesnt, she's got to grow up and deal with her problems, by herself.
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Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
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