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Oh, honey...I feel for you.
It sounds like you're just overwhelmed, which is understandable, and every little thing is going to set you off. It sounds like the biggest thing (duh) is concern about your mom, and everything else is just piling on top of it. It's totally normal when something shocking like this happens for you to get worried about bad things happening elsewhere.
You might want to find a therapist or someone to talk to while you're going through so much stress. Sounds like you have some pretty overwhelming anxieties right now, and there are people who know how to help you deal with it.
Meantime, take care of yourself. Spend time with your mom and try (I know it's hard) not to dwell on what might happen. Don't avoid it or stifle it if you or she wants to talk about it, but don't let it steal your joy right now. Keep in touch with your boyfriend by phone, email, whatever. The fender is no big deal, and if your mom's diagnosis doesn't put that in perspective, then...well...it should. And about driving, either go see someone who deals with phobias and anxiety, or follow maleficent's advice and car-pool, though that doesn't really deal with the issue at hand, which is your fear that's out of proportion with actual risk.
Having gone through a lot of this kind of anxiety myself, I can't stress enough that you should try to see a therapist or something. They can give you exercises and tools for dealing with it that will make your life bearable and even enjoyable again, even in the face of all this stress. If you can't/won't see a therapist, try some progressive relaxation exercises when you're having anxiety: Start with your toes and body part by body part, tense your muscles as tight as you can and then relax them. So tense your toes for like 2 breaths, then relax for 2 breaths. Then tense your feet for 2 breaths, relax; tense your calves for 2 breaths, etc., on up till you get to your head. And don't forget to breathe. Deeply.
Good luck, sweetie.
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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."
- Anatole France
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