Thread: Proof My Resume
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Old 06-08-2004, 07:58 PM   #6 (permalink)
pig
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To follow up on absorbbentishe : (Just went through this myself)

1. I would move the objective to the top, and I wouldn't start the sentence with "To secure a position..." I would start this sentence with "Take advantage of my....computing technology in a senior analyst position..." or something like that. Put the focus on what you can do for the company, and not on the fact that you need a job. They already know that - but you want to sound all action-oriented and synergistic and all that crap.

2. I would consider moving RECENT ACCOMPLISHMENT up in the resume, or else merging it into the CAREER PROFILE PART. I think you want to emphasize these before they've waded through the first part.

3. You use the word "assist" a lot, which is good in the sense that it adds to a message of "I'm a team player kind of guy" - but be careful not to overdo it. As a friend told me, your resume is one place where you want to flaunt things / skew them in your favor. Of the sentences I can see above, you can drop assist from all of them without changing the substance of them, and I don't think anyone will think you singlehandedly did all those things, but it sounds like you take charge and responsibility more.

4. If you already have your references, I would go ahead and include them. I didn't at first, and if you don't already have them lined up, then obviously it's moot, but I've had people tell me they prefer just to have the whole thing at once. That's one is definately a question of personal choice though.

Otherwise, I'd say it looks pretty good. Don't forget to make it look pretty
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Last edited by pig; 06-08-2004 at 08:03 PM..
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