Sion

so I'm putting it here.

The Seven Deadly Sins Of Gilligan's Island

The Seven Deadly Sins of Gilligan's Island theory is quite
simple. Each of the seven characters on the island represents
each of the seven deadly sins. Now, this theory seems to fit upon
initial inspection, there are technical difficulties when you get
down to THE MAN himself, Gilligan.

Run with me on this one...

Most obvious is the Professor, who fits PRIDE to a T. Any man
who can make a ham radio out of some wire and two coconuts has to
be pretty cocky. (His character was later revised and given a
series of his own, called "MacGyver.")

For the sin of ENVY we need look no further than Mary Ann, who
may have worn those skimpy little tops, but could never achieve
Ginger's glamour. (As an interesting and completely irrelevant
side note, a nationwide survey of college students a few years
ago revealed that the professor and Mary Ann were voted the most
likely couple to have 'done it' on the island.)

And who could doubt for a moment that Ginger is LUST incarnate?
Sure, the kids were supposed to think she was ACTING, but we all
know what being deprived episode after episode was doing to her.
You know and I know that glazed look wasn't boredom, my friends.

What kind of person takes a trunk full of money on a three-hour
cruise? Mr. Howell gets my vote for GREED.

We are now left with three characters and three Deadly Sins. We
have Gilligan, the Skipper and Mrs. Howell to whom we must match
GLUTTONY, SLOTH, and ANGER. As you can see, there is a Gilligan
problem here. Certainly we can further eliminate Mrs. Howell from
this equation by connecting her with SLOTH. She did jack shit
during her many years on the island and everybody knows it.

This leaves ANGER and GLUTTONY, either of which the Skipper had
no shortage. He was, after all, a big guy with the tendency to
hit Gilligan with his hat at least once an episode. After much
consideration, I have decided that he can easily do double-duty,
covering the two remaining Deadly Sins.

So here we have the Seven Deadly Sins trapped in an endlessly
recurring Hell of hope followed by denial and despair, forced to
live with each other in our TVs until the last re-run ends. And
who is their captor? What keeps them trapped there? Gilligan.

Gilligan is SATAN.

__________________
He's the best, of course, of all the worst.
Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz

I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin...