not quite funny enough for the humor forum - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Sion · 06-04-2004, 09:10 PM

so I'm putting it here.

The Seven Deadly Sins Of Gilligan's Island

The Seven Deadly Sins of Gilligan's Island theory is quite
simple. Each of the seven characters on the island represents
each of the seven deadly sins. Now, this theory seems to fit upon
initial inspection, there are technical difficulties when you get
down to THE MAN himself, Gilligan.

Run with me on this one...

Most obvious is the Professor, who fits PRIDE to a T. Any man
who can make a ham radio out of some wire and two coconuts has to
be pretty cocky. (His character was later revised and given a
series of his own, called "MacGyver.")

For the sin of ENVY we need look no further than Mary Ann, who
may have worn those skimpy little tops, but could never achieve
Ginger's glamour. (As an interesting and completely irrelevant
side note, a nationwide survey of college students a few years
ago revealed that the professor and Mary Ann were voted the most
likely couple to have 'done it' on the island.)

And who could doubt for a moment that Ginger is LUST incarnate?
Sure, the kids were supposed to think she was ACTING, but we all
know what being deprived episode after episode was doing to her.
You know and I know that glazed look wasn't boredom, my friends.

What kind of person takes a trunk full of money on a three-hour
cruise? Mr. Howell gets my vote for GREED.

We are now left with three characters and three Deadly Sins. We
have Gilligan, the Skipper and Mrs. Howell to whom we must match
GLUTTONY, SLOTH, and ANGER. As you can see, there is a Gilligan
problem here. Certainly we can further eliminate Mrs. Howell from
this equation by connecting her with SLOTH. She did jack shit
during her many years on the island and everybody knows it.

This leaves ANGER and GLUTTONY, either of which the Skipper had
no shortage. He was, after all, a big guy with the tendency to
hit Gilligan with his hat at least once an episode. After much
consideration, I have decided that he can easily do double-duty,
covering the two remaining Deadly Sins.

So here we have the Seven Deadly Sins trapped in an endlessly
recurring Hell of hope followed by denial and despair, forced to
live with each other in our TVs until the last re-run ends. And
who is their captor? What keeps them trapped there? Gilligan.

Gilligan is SATAN.

Fremen · 06-04-2004, 10:43 PM

ckn' knew it!

/uncle phil impression

skier · 06-05-2004, 07:16 AM

who are these people

cchris · 06-05-2004, 07:54 AM

That's fuckin funny.

06-04-2004, 09:10 PM	#1 (permalink)
Sion Dumb all over...a little ugly on the side Location: In the room where the giant fire puffer works, and the torture never stops.	not quite funny enough for the humor forum so I'm putting it here. The Seven Deadly Sins Of Gilligan's Island The Seven Deadly Sins of Gilligan's Island theory is quite simple. Each of the seven characters on the island represents each of the seven deadly sins. Now, this theory seems to fit upon initial inspection, there are technical difficulties when you get down to THE MAN himself, Gilligan. Run with me on this one... Most obvious is the Professor, who fits PRIDE to a T. Any man who can make a ham radio out of some wire and two coconuts has to be pretty cocky. (His character was later revised and given a series of his own, called "MacGyver.") For the sin of ENVY we need look no further than Mary Ann, who may have worn those skimpy little tops, but could never achieve Ginger's glamour. (As an interesting and completely irrelevant side note, a nationwide survey of college students a few years ago revealed that the professor and Mary Ann were voted the most likely couple to have 'done it' on the island.) And who could doubt for a moment that Ginger is LUST incarnate? Sure, the kids were supposed to think she was ACTING, but we all know what being deprived episode after episode was doing to her. You know and I know that glazed look wasn't boredom, my friends. What kind of person takes a trunk full of money on a three-hour cruise? Mr. Howell gets my vote for GREED. We are now left with three characters and three Deadly Sins. We have Gilligan, the Skipper and Mrs. Howell to whom we must match GLUTTONY, SLOTH, and ANGER. As you can see, there is a Gilligan problem here. Certainly we can further eliminate Mrs. Howell from this equation by connecting her with SLOTH. She did jack shit during her many years on the island and everybody knows it. This leaves ANGER and GLUTTONY, either of which the Skipper had no shortage. He was, after all, a big guy with the tendency to hit Gilligan with his hat at least once an episode. After much consideration, I have decided that he can easily do double-duty, covering the two remaining Deadly Sins. So here we have the Seven Deadly Sins trapped in an endlessly recurring Hell of hope followed by denial and despair, forced to live with each other in our TVs until the last re-run ends. And who is their captor? What keeps them trapped there? Gilligan. Gilligan is SATAN. __________________ He's the best, of course, of all the worst. Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin...

06-04-2004, 10:43 PM	#2 (permalink)
Fremen With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much Location: left side of my couch, East Texas	ckn' knew it! /uncle phil impression __________________ Google

06-05-2004, 07:16 AM	#3 (permalink)
skier Rawr! Location: Edmontania	who are these people __________________ "Asking a bomb squad if an old bomb is still "real" is not the best thing to do if you want to save it." - denim

06-05-2004, 07:54 AM	#4 (permalink)
cchris Junkie Location: Sydney	That's fuckin funny. __________________ There's a fine line between participation and mockery