Contrary

Me and my SO split up about a year ago and it was really hard for me to handle, but eventually after a few monthes we got back together. Ever since that emotional blow from breaking up with her, i've been really hateful towards everyone for no good reason, and had this feeling of hopelessness all day every day, i just assumed i had depression but just waited for it to go away because i was to afraid to talk to anyone about it. After we got back together, the bad feelings didn't go away, and after a year of dealing with that (argueing with her a lot, shes bullheaded and this depression made me bullheaded too, so we clashed), we started hitting rough water. I had the feeling that she wasnt enjoying us anymore, and finally decided to get some help. I went to the doc and sure enough i have depression, and he started me out on Zoloft. 3 days after i started taking the medicine, we broke up for good, so thats making me feel pretty bummed, but this medicine is making me feel, kind of fake i guess the word might be. I know im supposed to be down and sad about breaking up with my SO after 2 years, but when i take this medicine, it makes me feel almost like i dont even care. I know i should be feeling horrible and sad and crap, but, i have this fake feeling inside of me. It seems wrong to not be bummed out about this, even someone not depressed would be, it gives me this attitude that i shouldnt even try to save our relationship anymore, where as in the past i would have gotten all bent out of shape and did whatever i could to save the relationship. i know deep down that i still long to be with her and that i love her very much, but its like this medicine is blocking my feelings. Anyone else been through anything like this before? its kind of like, the angel and the devil on either side of my head, what i really feel and what this medicine is making me feel.