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Some women just have a hard time climaxing during intercourse. My SO has never gotten the big O with me inside her. She says its a fullness that doesn't let her release. She has no trouble with other methods of stimulation.
Try my tact...work her up (more foreplay), get her off...then once she's satisfied to your satisfaction...get yours.
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The sad thing is... as you get older you come to realize that you don't so much pilot your life, as you just try to hold on, in a screaming, defiant ball of white-knuckle anxious fury 
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