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I hate to be the one to say this, but it sounds like she's not doing her part in bed. I've heard many women complain that their partners don't do enough to give the woman an orgasm, that they just care about themselves. In my experience, and talking to friends, I believe that most guys get an almost bigger thrill out of being able to give their partner an orgasm than out of having one themselves.
Anyway, if she doesn't masturbate (which I don't doubt), and she won't touch herself in bed, and won't tell you what feels good when you do it, how can anyone possibly win? She's got to be more open about this and if she wants an orgasm as much as you want her to, then I think she's got to step out of her comfort zone and just do it. If she wants an orgasm she's got to start touching herself and discover things about herself that most people discover when they're fourteen.
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