As usual, my opinions are pretty much in line with Lurkette's first response. (no pun intended...isn't "first response" a home pregnancy kit?)
Forever is a long time, and like I referenced in your journal, opinions, even the strongest of opinions, change. Ten years ago, you didn't see yourself getting married. And here you are, happily married for over two years now. (First of all, I commend you for following your heart, even when it strayed from "the plan.") Right now, you don't want children. Will it stay that way? Well, you have very strong thoughts on it, so there's a good possibility. But if for some reason your thoughts ever changed on it, it would be heartbreaking to find out that you physically couldn't - not without difficulty, anyway.
Here's where I personally stand on the thought of having kids in general. I don't think ANYBODY should have kids for any other reason than they WANT to. Some people can't wait to have kids. Some people think it's their purpose in life - to bring someone else into this world. I can understand that, and if they're passionate about it and are intent on devoting their life to it, then more power to them. But they shouldn't have them for reasons like carrying on the family name, because they feel it's what they "should" do, or for any stupid (IMHO) reasons regarding population. I think if anybody ever has kids for ANY other reason than they WANT to, there's a good chance of resenting those children later in life. I'm sure many kids have been raised under those circumstances. (The good parents never let their kids know about it, I think. I can't imagine what I would do if I thought my parents weren't happy to have me here.)
Personally? I don't want kids at the moment. There are a million circumstances in my life right now telling me that this is the right decision. Some are external circumstances (career choice, financial situation) and some are internal (seeing how my parents have fought over the way they raise kids, the fact that I'm just too selfish right now to have them).
But I don't know that my thoughts on these things will always stay the way they are now. So I don't want to make a permanent decision like that. But that's just the way I feel right now.
How does your wife feel?
Quadrette feels the way I do. I'm thankful we had this discussion before getting married, and I'm happy we're on the same page. I know that a day might come where we're not on that same page. I hope we can stay in tune enough with each other where it won't be an out-of-the-blue thought process. (The irony here is that we're pretty sure Quadrette would have fertility issues if we did try to have kids..but that's another story.)
The birth control issue is another thing altogether, but yes, Cyn, that is a very big gamble. I would venture that you two have been quite lucky over the time you've been together.
I would just hate to see you lose that gamble, especially feeling the way you do now.
I can't venture to guess why certain people have kids. (That's a question for the Parenting forum). But there's a quotation from
Parenthood (a fantastic movie that I think really shows the joys and heartbreak of parenting) that always sticks with me. (You'd have to ask a parent if it's true!) The grandmother speaks it at the end of the movie.
You know, when I was 19, grandpa took me on a rollercoaster. Up, down, up down. Oh, what a ride! I always wanted to go again. You know, it was just interesting to me that a ride could make me so...so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together.
Some didn't like it. They went on the merry-go-round. Nothing. I like the rollercoaster. You get more out of it.