maleficent

The client I am at this week asked me to spend sometime with a candidate for a summer position. It would have been a great position for someone, not a typical grunt position, they'd actually be learning some skills to build a resume with.

Candidate today was Jymmi Something or other.

This young man, who at age 20, should know better, can serve as a case study as to How to NOT get hired and will also be therapy for me ...

Jymmi was taken to the conference room to wait for me arrive. When I opened the door, Jymmi was slouched in the chair legs spread about 5 feet apart (letting the boys breathe?) and arm slung across the table. The job application was in front of him filled out, in cursive, when it clearly stated printing.

I walked in, and said good morning, and introduced myself. Jymmi hasn't moved, he did a head tilt kind of thing and grunted, "Hey".
(I really had to resist the urge to smack him upside the head and tell him to sit up straight, stand when the interviewer walks into the room, speak clearly, and offer your hand in a firm handshake)

So, we'll cut Jymmi some slack... and proceed with the interview.

I had some problems reading his handwriting so I asked him about his previous job, his response, It's on his application. Well OK, thank you for playing our game, I can see something is on your application, you didn't bring a resume to help me out with your miserable handwriting, maybe I'm trying to clarify something, or maybe I'm trying to trap you to see if your application has any fibs on it.

So, I take a calming chug of coffee and try that approach again, I asked him what he did at his last job. His response. Stuff. Care to be more specific? I did what the managers told me to do (so basically he took no initiative on his own). And that would be.... Stuff. (this chile was giving me a headache)

So, he claims to have some technical experience, I asked him about his tech experience, he created a web page, ok that's swell, any kind of support you've done? I helped friends create their web pages, nifty, any work with servers or networking? I asked a few more questions, because his application did say he was experienced in tech support (I worked in the computer lab in college, so I know it's possible, I also know it's a tough gig) All of his support was helping his friends with AOL. (desperately trying not to laugh)

Why'd you leave some of these jobs, well they scheduled me too early, and if I was out the night before, I wasn't always on time. (points for honestly I suppose)
So, lets get down to it, experience really doesn't matter all that much for this position, we'll train you. Has this position been explained to you? (I know it had been because I wrote the job description) No. (I'm his last interview, he's already interviewed with 3 other people, at no point the job hasn't been explained to him? I find that hard to believe) I explained the job to him and asked if he had any questions. NO. Ok, does this job interest you. YEAH. That's good, what about the position intrigues you? (let's see if you were paying attention, son) All of it. Really? Fabulous. Care to elaborate on that, (tell me that getting into server support, or documentation, or working with users would interest you - give me something) At this point, past the conference room window, an very attractive young lady walks by. He is entralled by her. He asks, She work here? Yes, she does. Yeah, I'm really interested in the job now. (at this point, I'm looking for the Candid Cameras cause this surely has to be a joke) THen he actually asked, there a lot of hot chicks who work here?

I can't even remember the rest of the interview, sadly, young Jymmi will not be playing our game.

I checked with the other folks who interviewed this young man to see if I just got him on an off day, and they said the same things i did -- So why'd they pass him on? Because his technical skills looked solid (but they were fibs on his application )
NOTE: If you are going to fib on your application, make sure that you remember what that fib is.

Looks like Jymmi will be flipping burgers this summer.

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