Talk, talk and more talk. Communication is the key here. Start by opening up yourself to her and perhaps she'll be more comfortable to open up to you.
Personally - I am ok with not cumming. I don't have to cum to feel satisfied. I enjoy the sensation of penetration and want that more than anything really. When some one eats me I get tired of it quick and want the penetration. Perhaps you could get her a toy or finger her while you eat to give her that satsifaction if that's what she's wanting. Sometimes if I'm with a man that I know comes quickly and then one time he takes a long time to cum I can get a little frustrated because I get satisfaction out of being able to "get him off" as much as getting my own pleasure. Perhaps her frustration was not with you but with her own abilities. You really need to communicate more. If you had told her in the first place that you got desensitizing condoms then you probably would not have encountered that uncomfortable mid-intercourse moment.
Don't start out making assumptions or becoming suspicious. It will only make you start looking for "offenses." Focus on asking her questions. For example, "If you could change one thing about our sex life, what would it be?" Then be super careful not to take anything she says personally. Even if it's something about how quickly you cum. Then have a discussion about HOW to change it. You've found a way to slow down reaching orgasm. Now work toward changing your routine and making her happy. DON'T just change your routine without talking to her. Let her know that you feel like you are letting her down by falling into a routine and you want to make her happy. Let her know what you are doing and why every step of the way.
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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.
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