This topic came up in the inter-racial relationships thread and I, like some others, felt that it deserved a thread of its own.
So here's a quick recap. My dad is white and my mother is 3rd generation japanese american. I personally have only dated white females because when growing there wasn't much of an asian population where I lived. However once I moved away to college (the UW) I was exposed to much more diversity. Lately, I have found myself noticing the asian females more than the white ones, and in all likeyhood the next girl I date will be asian.
However one other thing caught my attention while in college: the disproportionate amount of asian female/white male relationships. I mentioned this in the other thread, but it seems to me while I'm walking around campus for every asian/asian couple I see, I see about 6 asian female/white male pairings. All the asian girls I know personally that date are dating white males.
I asked these girls why they don't date asian males and the answers go something like this:
-"It's not the race of the person that I'm attracted to, it's their personality."
-"I'm just not into asian guys."
Those are the typical responses that I hear from them, and the interesting thing is whenever this topic comes up they get very aggitated and defensive.
Of course it's impossible to determine the single causal factor which leads many asian females to date white males, but I have my theory (which I have read in some in some other places as well), which goes something like this:
In our western society white males hold the most power. All of the US presidents have been white males and generally speaking white males are portrayed in the media as being masculine and assertive. On the other end of the spectrum, of course there have been no asian american presidents and masculine asian american males in the media are very hard to find (sorry, kung-fu stars do not count). So asian american females are raised in a society which depicts white males as being masculine and able to reach the top of the social hierarchy, whereas asian american males are rarely depicted in this masculine manner. So, and yes this oozes of social darwinism, the asian females are subconciously attracted to the white males because they think that their offspring will have a better chance of climbing to the top of society if the offspring look more white than asian. Once again, I do not believe most asian females make cognitive decisions regarding choosing white males over asian males, but rather they have been conditioned all their lives to see the white males as the best mates and providers for their children.
So that answers one half of the asian female/white male question, but the other half remains, why are white males attracted to asian females to such a degree? Well, once again this is my own theory and is is un-testable. Much like asian females are brought up to believe white males have certain characteristics by our society, our society also attaches certain characteristics to asian females. These traits for example are generally seen as more feminine than the normal (white) females. Such as the asian female is more submissive, quiet, and studious than a non-asian female. Because they physically look different and are thought to behave different, one will often hear or read the word "exotic" attached to descriptions of asian females. Thus, white males are subconciously attracted this "exotic" image of the passive asian female which is more exciting than the "normal" female.
So that is my own thoery. There are a few things I want to stress. Firstly, the role that stereotypes play in these relationships. Of course not every white male is an assertive business man capable of being a CEO and of course not every asian girl is passive and good at math. However these are the stereotypes that pervade each these types of people. I also want to emphasize how these processes occur subconciously in both the white male and asian female. Asian females/white males don't have cognitive thoughts such as "I date her because she's asian" or "I date him because I'm white." But the sociological sterotypes do play a role in the initial attraction and who we seek out as mates.
Lastly I just want to say that I am in no way opposed to asian female/white male relationships. After all, I'm the product of one and an excellent example of the result. I have stated my own theory and everyone else is free to hack it up to pieces or add their own thoughts to it.
