I've talked to her a few times on voice chat on AIM (and hence me being pretty sure she is a girl and isnt 55)... but thats the whole problem, she thinks I am some black dude... it was just this dumb "handsome b wonderful" type persona I had on a certain site and I posted a picture of a model and claimed it was me and went on about how handsome I was all the time and so on...
there is NO CHANCE, I mean, I get this, and the stupid thing is, I know this, I understand this, and the longer I go on being friends with her the harder it gets to either find some face saving way to vanish, or just come out and say "look, this whole person you think I am is a lie, ok?" and have done with it.
I just wish I had been honest at the front, cos I do truly believe that she would have still liked me as much for who I am as opposed to character I acted out, and we now are at a stage where emotionally I have always been completely honest with her, and I do believe she see's the real me and likes the real me, but all the lies just mean there's no chance, and its harder and harder to bite the bullet and do the only sane thing.
Im too much of a pussy to fess up, so I guess I am just going to have to vanish somehow... Man, its so dumb, we have voice chatted, and sent each other little gifts and stuff, and she has been so supportive to me, and Im just a fucking liar and I spoiled it all right from the start by being dumb and living our some fake internet persona
