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Well, I wasn't going to post here anymore after the (breastfeeding) thread kinda turned me away, but this may help you.
My son is now nine and has been with my ex for five years. She got re-married about two years ago, and at first my son didn't want to call him Daddy. I was fine with that, and in fact it was an Ego boost. For the last six months he has been off and on calling me by name, and him by Dad.
I am a small part of his life in comparison to the new guy, and feel that it is my sons choice to "pick" who gets the title. In fact I am somewhat happy that he is adjusting to the new father figure in his life. The way I see it, Someone needs to be there for him in the male role, and I cannot. I would say, let the situation play out, and realize he (she), are the most important thing to worry about, not who has the title.
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Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha
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