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okay, first off, i'm not married, never have been, have no kids, and my parents have never divorced, so take this with a grain of salt if you want.
the fact of the matter is is that this guy is their step father. he will be, whether you like it or not, taking on the role of dad to them since he lives with them and you're not able to be there 24/7. i think you should let them call him dad. if this happened when they were older, especially teenagers, then they may have had it out for him and have a horrible time growing up. at least this way, they'll grow up in a (hopefully) good environment because there won't be any real issues and they'll have two fathers. just make sure you're there for them. be as big a part of their life as possible, bigger even. make sure they know that even though you don't live with them, you're there and love them and would do anything for them and that you're their dad. he may be "daddy ben" but you're "dad." "daddy ben" may as well be "uncle ben." he may have the position of father because of circumstance, but as long as you take an active part in their life, you'll always be 'dad.'
my $0.02
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shabbat shalom, mother fucker! - the hebrew hammer
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